Tropes in Romance Novels: Enough is Enough

If my Facebook feed is any indication, the rumors for the 50 Shades of Grey movie are picking up. Personally, I think these romance novels are awful. They’re poorly written, and the characters are unlikeable. The phrase “Oh my” was used so often that George Takei did a parody. Granted, I only read the first novel. But that was enough for me. I’m not paying $9.99 per book to see if they get any better.

I don’t like to complain without a solution though. So I set out to find the good romance novels, ones you could read instead of 50 Shades. (Blogging is rough.) I’ve found some real gems (don’t worry, I’ll share in a future post), and lots of really bad plots. I’ve realized it’s pretty easy to find the bad ones. The bad ones all seem to use certain tropes. That’s not to say a good book won’t use some of these, but overwhelmingly the bad ones try to cram them all into one novel.

Unless it has stellar reviews, I’m not reading anymore books that are built around these tropes.

• The Kinky CEO – He’s rich. He’s young. He’s gorgeous. He’s the kinky CEO. I can’t help but think that all the
  

  Because I’m Iron Man, that’s why.
  Photo: Paramount Pictures

  women who write about him are women who have never met or had to deal with a CEO in real life. In these stories it seems the CEO of a major corporation can just take off whenever he wants to go be with his lover, if he even goes in at all. He’s never stressed out. And he never brings his work home. You can’t see it, but I’m making gagging faces over here. If he only popped up occasionally it’d be OK. But he’s in damn near half of the romance novels now it seems. He’s played out and boring. So unless your kinky CEO is Tony Stark, lets leave him in the office from now on.

• The Handsome Billionaire – Very similar to the Kinky CEO is the handsome
  

  If Tony can get away with it, so can I.
  Photo: Batman Wiki

  billionaire. The difference is the handsome billionaire doesn’t usually work at all, leaving him nothing but time to dote on his lover. He takes her shopping at stores she could never afford, haves her move in to his gorgeous home on the coast (complete with sex room, naturally), and not much else. Where he got his money need not be explained (but bonus points if he’s an artist of some sort) just that he has it. He’s the romance novel version of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. He doesn’t change, or have character growth. He’s just there to help the protagonist discover herself. Much like the kinky CEO he’s played out and boring. And since I made an exception for Tony Stark above, we must give Bruce Wayne a pass here too. No more handsome billionaires unless he’s Bruce Wayne.

• The “Show Me Who I Am” – Speaking of our female protagonist’s need to discover herself, I’m tired of romance novels with weak willed women who need an experienced man to show them what they’ve been missing out on. These women tend to be either women who have been too dedicated to their careers, their families, or (most often) their now failed marriages to focus on themselves and their needs. That is, until they’re swept off their feet by the Kinky CEO or the Handsome Billionaire who courts them with lavish gifts and attention. Who gives them what they never knew they needed. Can we get some women who know who they are and what they want? Maybe a sexy romantic comedy about trying to find their equal?
• The Virgin – Unless of course, the woman who needs to be shown who she is is a virgin. Every time there’s a romance novel where a woman goes from a virgin to a complete freak in five chapters or less, I think of the scene in Wedding Crashers where Gloria(Isla Fisher) admits to Jeremy (Vince Vaughn) that he didn’t take her virginity, she just thought that’s what guys wanted to hear.
• The “Oops I Got Lost and Stumbled into a Sex Club”– Ladies, I know this has happened to you. You’re
  

  I was expecting Tony or Bruce. Who are you?
  Photo: How I Met Your Mother Wiki

  heading home from someplace at night and you make a wrong turn. Damn if you don’t suddenly have car trouble. That’s OK, there’s a nice looking place for you to go use a phone (because no one carries their cell with them all the time). Only it turns out to be a crazy sex club! Instead of running away terrified and embarrassed, you explore. This is sadly way more of a thing in romance novels then it should be. Do not confuse this with How I Met Your Mother’s “the naked man,” which of course works 2/3 times. And surprisingly enough, something I have not seen in a romance novel yet.

I’ll reiterate, I’m not saying if a romance novel has these it’s going to be be bad. I’ve even seen the “stumble into a sex club” storyline done well. But the poorly written, boring, overdone stories are more likely to rely on these tropes.

What about you? Do you read romance novels? What tropes are you tired of seeing?