5 on Friday: Trends Women Hate

Tumblr has a tendency to blow up over things that aren’t really important. Lately, that thing has been “Trends Men Hate.” Basically it’s just a list of things that some guy finds unattractive. Which whatever, people are allowed to find certain things unattractive. Plus, it kind of reminds me of the “fashion don’ts” in Glamour (you know, the ones with the blackout bars on the eyes) which really has me confused why we’re supposed to be upset.

But in the name of fun, we’ve decided to create a list of “trends women hate.” Which may or may not be loosely based on things found in the closets of either my husband or Claire’s fiance.

Oversized T-Shirts

This is another thing guys will quote comfort on. Maybe it’s different for girls, but I’ve had oversized t-shirts, and t-shirts that fit. And they’re both comfortable. Most of these oversized t-shirts also have a logo of some sort on them. It could be a band you like, or a convention you’ve been to, or supporting your fandom. To which I say, they typically make these things in sizes.

Suggested upgrade: Shirts that fit. It’s that simple. If you don’t know if it fits, it probably doesn’t. As for all those oversized shirts you love with logos? Make them into an awesome quilt. Heck, you don’t even need to know how to sew.

Cargo Shorts

Every guy has at least one pair of baggy, shapeless cargo shorts somewhere. To be fair, sometimes they are the kind of thing that does have a time and a place. If you’re out biking, they’re baggy enough to hide bike shorts under. Plus, lots of pockets can be really convenient out on a bike. Hiking is another totally acceptable time to wear them. Or if you’re in a frat, because then it lets us know you’re in a frat.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but listen to Schmidt.

Suggested upgrade: Flat front twill shorts. Much more flattering, and gives you more of a “put together” appearance.

Jesus Sandals

You know the sandals. They big, bulky, million strap sandals. The sandals your dad wears. They’re so full of straps you may as well be wearing regular shoes. These are another thing that have a totally appropriate place. For example, Keen’s are great for biking because they have that rubber to protect your toes. But most of the time, they’re just silly looking.

Suggested Upgrade: A less strappy version of what you’re wearing now.

Running Shoes as Regular Shoes

I was telling my husband what would be on my list of “trends women hate” (I felt it only fair to warn him). And this was the one that bothered him the most. “They’re engineered to be comfortable, haven’t we evolved enough as a society to wear most comfortable shoes possible?”

Nope. If we had, there wouldn’t be high heels.

Suggested upgrade: A basic pair of fashion sneakers, like a pair of classic Vans. They’ll work with shorts, jeans, and twill pants.

Carpenter Jeans

Are you a carpenter? Are you a between the ages of 2-8 and want to pretend to be a carpenter? Then there is no need to wear carpenter jeans. Well, unless you’re going to build us a bookcase or something, in which case have at it.

Suggested upgrade: A pair of dark, well fitted, straight leg jeans. Get the dark ones, they look dressier and the fading process will take longer.

Do Trends Women Hate Matter?

Nope. Absolutely not. Just like it doesn’t matter what trends men hate. You will still see my husband out in his beloved cargo shorts and running shoes. I will wear the cardigans he despises (really, who hates cardigans?). Sure, if we’re having a date night or going out we try to dress up for the other person. And overall, we try make sure we’re still attractive to each other. But I’ll still think he’s hot in his Jesus sandals, and he’ll think the same when I wear my Converse.