Knowing Your Limits: Why I Won’t Be Bouting This Season
It’s been a rough few weeks. I’ve been at work 60+ hours. I’m ignoring my own advice and not eating well. I’m not staying active. I’m not making derby practice. If I’m there, I’m exhausted before I even lace up my skates. My head isn’t always in the game.
And that’s why I’ve decided to step down from the Party Crashers, the Circle City B Team.
Playing roller derby has given me many things. It’s given me the knowledge that even the kid who was picked last in gym can be transformed into a competitive athlete. It’s given me the strength to stand in front of hundreds of strangers in fishnets, short shorts, and knee socks. It’s given me the compulsion to cover everything in stickers. It’s given me the confidence to start this blog, because even if it failed at least I was trying something new. And most ironically, it’s given me the ability to recognize when I’m stretched too thin.
Roller derby is a full contact, intensely physical, intensely mental game. You play offense and defence at the same time while being pushed around by players of all shapes and sizes. And when you don’t train hard, you fall hard (repeatedly). You put yourself and your teammates at greater risk for injury. There’s also all the behind the scenes stuff like committee work, hanging posters, and doing promotional events.
I’m going to spend this season refocusing. I’ll still be skating, just not on one of our competitive teams. I’ll be spending less time at practice to spend more time lifting weights, maybe some cardio, and playing YourShape on my Kinect (I only logged two hours in my competition with Tony from Geeking in Indiana in March. Pathetic.) Being away from home less often will allow me to cook more and eat better (and by extension help my husband eat better, which is important because he will be playing derby competitively).
I love being a part of the derby community, and being a member of my league specifically. Even though I’m stepping down from the B team, I’m still going to have the opportunity to skate. I’m still going to be able to be involved and volunteer on committees and at bouts. I’m still part of the team. A team who, while bummed out, has been a source of support following my announcement. And for that, I’m grateful. Because above everything else, derby has given me a fantastic group of friends whom I treasure greatly.
Aside: You can buy tickets for the first bout here. Come watch and say “Hi!” I’ll be easy to find, most likely in the suicide seating (the floor around the track). I’ll be in my jersey, look for Ctrl Alt Destroy number 404.
Oh Nicole. I’m so proud of you for so many reasons. I’m glad that derby has helped you see yourself the way I’ve always seen you. The most difficult thing to do is to step down and I’m sure you agonized over the decision. Take a breath and get strong. We’re rooting for you.
Thanks Tamre. I know you know exactly how this feels.