The Duvet Cover is a Lie

I had to wash the bedding last week. Pixel (our terrier) decided that would be a nice warm place to pee. Thankfully we had a ton of blankets on the bed because of the polar vortex so the mattress was safe. But as I stared at the pile of bedding I knew I’d have to reach in and untie the corners of the duvet cover, and pull the comforter out. And after the bedding had been washed, I stared at the duvet cover with dread. I hated putting that stupid thing back on.

And that’s when I realized, the duvet cover is a lie.

We’ve all been lied to about duvet covers. When Eric and I got married, I put a plain white comforter on our wedding wishlist. “It’ll be great!” I thought, “I can clean the duvet cover without worrying about the comforter and change it cheaply whenever I want.”

Lies I tell you.

First of all, who started spreading this rumor that duvet covers are cheap? Those stupid things are still $100 on the cheap end. Plus, you have to put something inside it still. So you’re still looking at a minimum intal cost of $200. And that’s if you buy everything on sale.

“But you can change it for $100 going forward!” Who are you people changing your bedding that frequently? The comforter and duvet cover I have now I’ve had for five years.  And if it weren’t for the dread of washing it, I wouldn’t be replacing it now. And when we’re on the discussion of washing it, who only needs to wash the cover? This magical thin piece of fabric is supposed to save a comforter from being washed? If that were true, sheets would do just as well.

The stupid things never stay in place either! I’ve woken up in the middle of the night several times to find my part of the comforter has become simply the duvet cover, as the comforter has shifted inside. And I have one of the nice covers that tie in the corners (like that does anything).

I say no more duvet covers. Stop buying them, and maybe we can get back to having actual comforters again. We can stop pretending like they make our lives so much easier. We can acknowledge them for what they really are. A smaller thing so retailers can put more stuff on a shelf.